As I spent this week planning all the activities for my next workshop, Draw Your Love Life, I came to the realisation about why dating in the age of social media feels weirder than ever:
1. Dating apps. I’m not someone who completely swears against them considering most of my relationships have started on the apps. But if we’re being honest, the majority of people rely almost entirely on them, which can create a false sense of how successful (or unsuccessful) our love lives are. Could it be that the decline of everyday flirting— a cheeky glance on your commute, flirty small talk in cafés, chatting all night at a house party—has left us unsure of how to pursue each other outside of a screen?
2. We’re drowning in advice. There are millions of videos filled with billions of opinions and think pieces on how to date “the right way.” There are also too many buzzwords that have lost their meaning like ‘limerence,’ ‘hyper-fixation’ and ‘love bombing.’ I fear a lot of people don’t fully understand what some of these words even mean and apply them to every situation that doesn’t feel right. People consume this content without questioning whether it actually applies to them, and as a result, make dating choices that might not align with their reality.
3. Couple content! I’m a hopeless romantic and I love couple content. I love love! But I constantly have to remind myself that most couples only post their best moments. You might think you want a partner exactly like your favorite influencer’s, but does that person even really exist?
4. Cis men on dating apps. As a woman who dates them, I can confidently say they’re the biggest problem with heterosexual dating (a topic deserves its own newsletter). Dating apps have placed women in the pools of men who, quite frankly, shouldn’t have access to most of the women they get to swipe on, and it’s completely fucked things up. Honestly, it’s exhausting (and sometimes dangerous) going on dates with undercover incels.
5. External validation, or the lack of it. Posting yourself looking your hottest on a night out, only to receive fewer likes, flirty comments, or cheeky DMs than expected, can feel weirdly demoralising. And can we blame ourselves? It translates to: ‘maybe you’re not as hot as you think you are,’ which is a very unsexy feeling.
6. We spend too much time on our phones. I read a fantastic Substack newsletter about how a lack of hobbies, socialising, and excessive doomscrolling has become the norm and it’s ruining connection. I wish I could find it again because it was so spot-on. This seems to be our culture now, and unfortunately, it’s doing nothing to help modern dating or creating connection in any way.
I can’t wait to talk about all of this in my next online workshop on March 23rd. My first workshop in February was such could vibes with the best attendees and we all took so much away from it. I’m looking forward to this one, and more than that, I can’t wait to help you figure out what’s getting in the way of your love life, what would make dating and relationships more exciting for you, and of course, to meet you all!
Here’s the link to grab your ticket https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/organizations/home! See you there and speak soon ❤️
"Cis men on dating apps. As a woman who dates them, I can confidently say they’re the biggest problem with heterosexual dating (a topic deserves its own newsletter). Dating apps have placed women in the pools of men who, quite frankly, shouldn’t have access to most of the women they get to swipe on, and it’s completely fucked things up. Honestly, it’s exhausting (and sometimes dangerous) going on dates with undercover incels."
I agree! 💯 This is one of the reasons why I am not the biggest fan of dating apps.
I thank the Lord I never had to experience this era of dating.