I’m writing this from the cupboard room Airbnb I’m temporarily living in. It’s borrowed space for which I’m grateful, consisting of a desk, a bed with a lumpy mattress, and enough floor space for my overflowing suitcase with about four steps of walking room.
This is all because I don’t know what I’m doing. I kind of have one foot in and one foot out of this country. During my 3 months in south east Asia, there was a point during my last few weeks where I suddenly panicked. I worried that all this travelling would get in the way of me finding a partner, starting a family and expanding my business. So, I booked a one-way ticket home and desperately started sowing roots in the uk. For instance, I started the postcard club. This is my way of growing my business and deepening my connection to my online community. This, of course, requires me to be in the UK permanently so that I can design, print, and post the prints to people all over the world. As much as I’ve loved it, I worry that it’s not future-proof since I don’t know how committed I am to staying here. I also started pitching myself for talks and workshops in the UK that have no specific date in mind. At the time of pitching, I was sure that I would stay, but now I’m not sure at all. It’s now a decision of whether I should uproot the small investments I’ve made here so I can go back to being 100% digital in my work or not.
There have been several moments in my travelling journey where I’ve worried about what my future looks like and if I’m making the right decision. Still, I would push on and continue to visit incredible places and have the best time. But that nagging feeling in the back of my mind that I can’t settle down if I’m always moving around remained.
As I’ve mentioned in previous newsletters, all of my family live in different places. It’s safe to say that we’re all officially adults on our own paths. Right now, I don’t have a family home to go back to and figure things out. It’s up to me to put a roof over my head, to keep money in my pocket, to stay fed and clothed, and to overall look after myself. It’s scary and I wish there was someone holding my hand and telling me what to do.
In truth, the best thing about the UK is that my family and friends are here. I’ve enjoyed catching up with people, eating all my favourite foods and going to all my favourite places. I haven’t enjoyed the weather, the inflated prices, how grey everything is, and how my loved ones are struggling in this shitty economy. There’s no guarantee that things will be significantly better somewhere else, but I can confirm that the lifestyle in many of the other countries I’ve visited works better for me than it does in the UK. Moving countries isn’t easy but the longer I stay in the UK, the more I wonder if this is the best option for me.
I don’t know what my life looks like in the next five years. I barely know what it looks like for the rest of 2024. I don’t know if or when I’ll meet the love of my life. I don’t know when I’m having kids. I don’t know where I want to live. All I know is that at this moment in time joy is my main priority. I’m learning to surrender to the unknown and that I don’t have to be this uncomfortable to create a comfortable life.
I hope to come back soon with a more upbeat update and I’m sure I will! In the meantime, you can support my digital nomad career by enjoying my latest digital product, the sonder stories. I can’t wait to share the new comic with you all!
As always, thank you for your support and being the best soundboards! If you enjoyed this newsletter, like, subscribe and feel free to share it! Speak soon ❤️
Thanks for sharing your feelings, Sarah. I hope you find clarity on the way🙏🏻🩵
Good luck with your decision making! I know its hard. Don't give up your cartoons, though, please!