Can you believe we’re halfway through the 2024? What an intense 6 months this has been, but a period of time my life needed.
At the start of the year, I was contemplating ending my nomadic lifestyle and moving back to England. I thought that if I didn’t I was holding myself back from things like finding love, career progression, and solidifying my community. And then one day I was like, ‘why do these things have to happen in London?’ My career goes everywhere with me as long as I have my iPad and my pen. If I’m intentional enough, I could meet the love of my life anywhere. I’ll always have my family and friends in England no matter where I go in the world and I can create community anywhere as long as I’m determined. I don’t know why I was so frightened that the best version of my life only exists in this city and I risked a lifetime of misery if I decided to abandon it. I’m glad to have come to the realisation that it was never that deep!
So after 3 months of panic, I calmed down enough to book a train to Paris and stayed for almost the entire month of May. Paris felt like a gentle transition back into being nomadic since it’s so close to London and only has 1 hour time difference. I booked the most gorgeous Airbnb north of Paris, hosted by the sweetest couple, Frederick and Maxime.
Their home was huge, composed of two houses with a large kitchen and veranda in the middle that connected the two buildings. Frederick and Maxime lived on one side, while myself and two of their residents lived on the other side.
Upon arrival, Maxime welcomed me, then lead me into the kitchen where I immediately noticed a gorgeous man lounging on a sofa in the kitchen area, reading a book. He looked beautiful. Like, really beautiful. He would be my neighbour, sharing a floor with me on our side of the house. In my head I named him Hot Neighbour.
“This is Sarah. She’s a cartoonist!” said Maxime enthusiastically to Hot Neighbour. His face lit up and he excitedly jumped up to greet me. He shook my hand in a way that was somehow firm and gentle and shared that he loved cartoons and he himself illustrated and was also a film maker. And thus, (obviously) my crush began. That afternoon I vowed never to look as disheveled as I did after a long Eurostar journey that I slept the entire time on.
I began documenting my crush on Hot Neighbour on Instagram, excitedly sharing updates on our interactions. I don’t know if I’m delusional or just romantically-deprived, but the flirtatious energy between us was very much felt. Every so often we’d cross paths in the communal kitchen and we’d end up having these long deep conversations. I liked that he was always cooking. Like not just heating things up or making some kind of inedible boy-concoction, but really cook. He’d sautée tofu, grill aubergines, finely slice mushrooms, and gently stir sauces that filled the kitchen with the most inviting, hearty aromas. All the time he’d be talking and listening to me, undistracted and deeply engaged. And when he wasn’t facing the stove, he turned to me and made deep, unbroken eye contact. And that was very hot to me.
I learnt a lot about Hot Neighbour, but one thing that kept my interest at no more than a crush was how he spoke about his ex with whom he was with for 10 years. He invited me for dinner one evening where we shared a beautiful spread of breads, salad, fruits, olive oils, a vegetarian pie and other random delicious foods. I don’t remember how the conversation slipped into past lovers, but I saw his eyes glaze over as he detailed the rise and fall of their relationship. The hurt, regret, and residual feelings weren’t hard to miss. Still, I admired how he spoke about her with grace and a deep appreciation of what they had. But it was obvious he was not over her.
And so I let myself indulge in Hot Neighbour’s cheeky smiles, held gazes, the kitchen chit chats and his overall hotness. My interest didn’t grow beyond superficial attraction. These days my standards are very firm and it takes a lot for me to let myself really like someone. If someone doesn’t feel totally available and I feel even the tiniest bit of apprehension, I won’t move forward. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not but it’s what’s working for me. At the end of trip, I wished I could give everyone the ‘Meet Cute’ finale they hoped for but it wasn’t going to happen. I at least made a friend and I’d be glad to meet Hot Neighbour for a coffee whenever I’m in Paris again!
So there’s the last Hot Neighbour update! Here’s to more crushes and hopefully that one crush lasts a lifetime. I can’t wait to share that update one day.
Speak to you soon!
I followed the journey on Instagram and I love the ending. It sounds to me that you have clear boundaries and self control, very wise and mature of you. Keep living and thriving, I believe your crush which will last a lifetime is out there.
I briefly followed your journey on Instagram. I’m glad you decided to take the plunge to travel to Paris. I love the fact you’re open to love and have clear boundaries. I really admire that you took the time to learn more about your crush and could recognise that your crush still needed time to heal
Can’t wait to see where you go to next